Basic Style Requirements

If you have every sentence start with the same words, your writing will sound really choppy and boring.

You need to make sure that you don’t repeat yourself with your sentence beginnings. If you find yourself repeating beginnings, you might try to mix things up.

• Add a dependent clause (When she wanted to leave)
• Add a gerund (an “ing” word like “doing”).
• Add a prepositional phrase (in the beginning).
• Add a small transition (in fact)

Bad: Kathy is an excellent student. She never hands her work in late. Kathy even does the extra credit assignment. Kathy values her grades. She works hard.

(If you notice, "Kathy" and "she" refer to the same person, so all these sentences actually start with the same subject.)

Good: Kathy is an excellent student. As a matter of fact, she never hands her work in late. Doing extra credit gives her an even higher grade. Because Kathy values her grades, she works hard.

On your paper... Go through and underline the first three or four words of every sentence. Make sure you do not have any repeated words

Sentence Lengths

In English, short sentences are used to catch a person’s attention.

So, short sentences make main ideas stand out, but if you have all short sentences, the paper starts sounding choppy. So, good writers use nice long sentences to make the paper flow and sound good. You need to make sure your main ideas are in short sentences and your evidence and explanations use nice long sentences.

Let's look at the short paragraph above.

Improved Version : Kathy excels in school. As a matter of fact, she never hands her work in late even when her classmates make excuse after excuse. Doing extra credit gives her an even higher grade. Because Kathy values her grades, she works hard to earn the grade she wants.

Now the main idea (the first sentence) stands out.

On your paper... Go though your paper and count the number of words in EVERY sentence. Write the numbers in the right hand margin. Pick two main ideas and make sure you use short (three to five word sentences). Pick two explanations and make sure they are in long (twenty to twenty-five word) sentences.

Repetition

You want to avoid repeating individual words. Most of the time, this is just pure laziness because there are always synonyms available. Unfortunately, whatever we use as the main idea of the paper sometimes shows up a little too much because we aren't using synonyms.

Gawain is an honorable man who always seeks to do the honorable thing. When his honor is questioned, he proves himself by putting his life on the line. In the end, no one questions his honor except for himself.

*shiver of horror*

Gawain is an honorable man who always seeks to do the right thing. When the Green Knight questions his valor, he proves himself by putting his life on the line. In the end, no one questions his good name except for himself.

On your paper... Whatever your main idea words are, highlight whenever you use the word or a synonym for that word. Check that you're using a variety of synonyms without sounding strange. Remember, use a thesaurus to remind you of words you know. Never use one to find new words.

Vocabulary

You want to avoid using dull, overused words in your paper. If someone says that a person in "nice," you really don't know what that means. Originally, the word meant "having good manners," but now it could mean anything from "polite" to "generous" to "she's really ugly and I don't know what else to say." In other words, the word "nice" has lost its meaning. NEVER use these tired, trite words in your essays

stuff / cool / things / very
fun / really / nice / good
great / bad / real / really
interesting / terrific / evil

Ask yourself what you really MEAN.

The vacation was fun...
educational / exciting / emotional / sensational / inspirational

The show was very offensive...
unusually / extremely / deeply / exceedingly / profoundly / exceptionally / uniquely

He's an evil guy...
pernicious / malicious / dangerous / spiteful / vicious

Each word choice would mean something slightly different. Use more specific, powerful words that match the tone of your writing

On your paper... Cross out every low level vocabulary word and find a more original way to phrase the sentence. Then insert and/or highlight at least two high level vocabulary words.

Advanced Style Requirements

am / are / is / was / were / be / being / been

The purpose of a verb is to show action; the problem is that linking verbs contain no action. So, these words generally don't get the job done. The linking verbs include am, are, is, was, were, be, being, and been. Good sentences use active verbs that show something happening, so you want to avoid linking verbs. In particular, you want to avoid three truly weak beginnings: “it is,” “there are,” and “there is.”

In order to eliminate linking verbs, you have to make sure you have someone or something DOING something. Most of the time, you will have to rewrite the whole sentence.

Bad: Judge Judy is one of my favorite T.V. shows

Good: Judge Judy, one of my favorite shows, airs at 4 pm.

Bad: Odysseus is nice.

(Boring! So, tell me, does he "appear" nice meaning it's only an appearance and not the reality? Does he "exemplify" niceness meaning he's an excellent example of it? Is he the "epitome" of kindness meaning he is the perfect example of it? Does he "exhibit" kindness meaning you can see it on the outside? What do you MEAN??)

Odysseus exemplifies kindness
Odysseus embodies the spirit of empathy
Odysseus epitomizes kindness
Odysseus represents the suffering of man
Odysseus exudes kindness
Odysseus demonstrates kindness
Odysseus flaunts his kindness
Odysseus appears nice
Odysseus symbolizes kindness
Odysseus expresses kindness
Odysseus acts kind
Odysseus exhibits many kind traits

On your paper... On your paper, circle every linking verb. Go back and rewrite so that you have a minimum of linking verbs!

Sentence Structure

Good writers use a variety of sentence structures to help reinforce the relationships between ideas. You should include coordinating conjunctions, conjunctive adverbs and semicolons, so read through and check that you have at least one of each sentence style.

If you don’t have any of these compound sentences, you may need to combine some sentences together. This is also a good time to check that you don’t have any run-on sentences.

The sentence examples in the next column are all correct, but remember, you want to use all the different types of sentences in your paper, so you have to use a variety of structures!

Simple Sentences: Thomas Morton was strange.

Coord. Conjunction (2 equally important ideas) : Thomas Morton was strange, and he often fought with the Puritans.

Conjunctive Adverb (emphasizes the connection) : Thomas Morton was strange; in fact, he often fought with the Puritans.

Semicolon (emphasize how closely related the ideas are) : Thomas Morton was strange; he often fought with the Puritans.

Subordinating Conjunction (make one idea subordinate to another): Thomas Morton hated Puritans because they disapproved of his religion

Colon: In the eyes of the Puritans, Thomas Morton committed several sins: drinking, freeing slaves, dancing with Indian woman, and fighting.

On your paper... On your paper, label EVERY sentence. Make sure that you are using a variety of sentence types and that you do not have run-on sentences caused by leaving out a comma in a coordinating conjunction.

Transitions

First, second, third, first, next, last, yadda, yadda, and more yadda.

Most transitions are pointless and boring. If you want to have papers that really have an impact, you need to use transitions that help the reader understand the relationship between ideas and arguments. Since a good paragraph starts with the least important idea and ends with the strongest, the following transitions work far more effectively.

• Even more significantly
• Far more significantly,
• An even more serious problem involves
• An even more compelling argument
• The most compelling argument
• An even more fundamental problem
• An even more critical problem
• An even more decisive argument is that
• The most decisive argument is that
• A more persuasive point is that

While these indicate that you've built up the arguments to a climax, you do have other types of "high-level" transitions from which to choose.

These indicate degrees to which you are confident in your evidence:

• certainly
• assuredly
• surely
• doubtless
• perhaps
• probably
• in all probability
• in all likelihood
• obviously
• evidently
• unquestionably

On your paper... Go through and make sure that you have put your arguments into order within each paragraph. Then insert these higher level transitions so that the reader sees the relationships between your main ideas.

Optional Style Requirements

Optional in that I will never require you to use these. They're hard! Only try these if you're feeling pretty confident because they can go very wrong if done poorly.

Sensory Language

A few pieces of sharp sensory language can make a reader really feel like they are there. Many writers use sight; however, sounds, smells, and feelings can be just as powerful. Sensory words will engage a reader's emotions far quicker than simple facts (although you need a lot of facts too!)

Students don't want to eat in the cafeteria. Letting them go off campus would make for happier students.

Students want to avoid the cafeteria with that special blend of scents: the sour sweat from hundreds of stinking students, the sharp, bitter odor of burnt cheese, and the heavy, rancid odor of all that fried foods. Who wants to eat in the middle of that? Letting students go off campus would make for happier students.

On your paper... Underline the sensory words you use. Make sure they truly appeal to the senses and create a strong sense of the experience. Make me feel/hear/touch/smell/see the scene.

Anaphora

Now let's look at the more complex rule when it comes to repetition. If you are trying to emphasize the similarity of items or if you really want to draw attention to a particular section, you may intentionally repeat phrasing.

Well done anaphora repeats the main idea. In the sample, "We shall fight" is the main idea and that is the part that gets repeated. You would NEVER use anaphora with a weak sentence beginning like "There are some"

"We shall fight on the beaches. We shall fight on the landing grounds. We shall fight in the fields, and in the streets, we shall fight in the hills. We shall never surrender!" --Churchill, 4 June 1940.

Here the repetition of "fight" really pounds home a point. Then, when he closes with something different, "never surrender," it really stands out. This is a good use of repetition to prove a point.

On your paper... Highlight where you've used anaphora. This is a power tool, and it might overwhelm your writing if you have more than one in a two page paper, so avoid overusing this stylistic element.

Antithesis

This is sentence where two opposite ideas a put right next to each other in a sentence. The sentence is structured so the two ideas look the same even though the ideas are opposite.

By putting two very different ideas right next to each other, you make the ideas stand out more.

"I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character." --Martin Luther King, Jr.

"That's one small step for man; one giant leap for mankind." -- Neil Armstrong

"We observe today not a victory of party but a celebration of freedom" -- John F. Kennedy's Inaugural Address

Chiasmus

A reversal in the order of words in two otherwise parallel phrases. So, if the first part of the sentence is set up A B (where A is a noun and B is a verb) then the second half is set up B A. So, you get a criss cross effect.

"By day the frolic, and the dance by night." -- Samuel Johnson
(Preposition phrase--noun / noun - prepositional phrase)

"But many that are first shall be last, and the last shall be first" --Bible, Matthew 19:30)

“Ask not what your country can do for you but what you can do for your country.” -- John F. Kennedy